Adat Resam Perkahwinan Melayu Melaka /MALAY WEDDING

Masyarakat Melayu or the Malay community holds firm to their adat resam or traditions and customs because they believed the adat resam or customs will have an impact in their life. One of the many traditional customs, the marriage customs is important to the Malay community. Their marriages procedures are lovely or penuh dengan kasih sayang, full of adat resam or customs and lively with throngs of guests following in for the ceremony for some lengthy hours of the day.

They respected the marriage customs most and thus the customs is abided by the whole community.

The first step is the survey or visit stage where the parents of both the bride and the bridegroom meet together to reach a mutual consensus. Such meeting is to honour the parent of the bride and to get their consent for the marriage of their daughter to his son. It is Islamic that a person is prohibited from marrying a fiance or fiancee of another. This process is conducted gracefully to preserve the good name of both parties. The girl's side would seek to know that her future husband has basic religious knowledge and own a proper occupation.

When representatives of the boy's side arrived at the girl's home, they will raise the subjects on the living conditions, working conditions and current issues during a refreshment served. As the future-wife-to-be serve her guests, representatives will take the opportunity to observe the girl.

Thereafter, the boy's spokesperson will announce their intention and recite a pantun or poem.

"Sudah lama langsatnya condong
Barulah kini batangnya rebah
Sudah lama niat dikandung
Baru sekarang diizinkan Allah"


"Dari Pauh singgah Permatang
Singgah merapat papan kemudi
Dari jauh saya datang
Karena tuan yang baik budi"


"Kalau gugur buah setandan
Sampai ke tanah baru tergolek
Kami bersyukur kepada Tuhan
Datang kami disambut baik"


"Berapa tinggi pucuk pisang
Tinggi lagi asap api
Berapa tinggi Gunung Ledang
Tinggi lagi harapan hati"


"Kabung enau tebang satu
Tebang sekali dengan sigainya
Tinggi gunung tinggi lagi harapanku
Harapan dalam tutur katanya"


"Besar api Teluk Gadung
Anak buaya mengonggong bangkai
Niat hati nak peluk gunung
Apakan daya tangan tak sampai"


"Sudah lama langsatnya condong
Dahannya rebah ke ampaian
Sudah lama niat dikandung
Baru sekarang disampaikan"


After the above poem has been recited by the representatives of the boy's side, the girl's side will response and reply to the poem with another poem.

"Perahu kolek ke hilir tanjung
Sarat bermuat tali temali
Salam tersusun sirih junjung
Apa hajat sampai kemari ?"


"Malam-malam pasang pelita
Pelita dipasang atas peti
Kalau sudah bagai dikata
Sila terangkan hajat di hati"


"Tidak pernah rotan merentang
Kayu cendana dijilat api
Tidak pernah tuan bertandang
Tentu ada maksud di hati"


"Tumbuk lada di atas para
Ada kasut simpan di hati
Tepuk dada tanya selera
Apa maksud di dalam hati"


At this moment, the boy's side will voice his desire to "pluck the flower of the garden" or "memetik bunga di taman".


They do that with a final poem that read like this :

"Daun raya di atas bukit
Tempat raja menanam pala
Harap kami bukan sedikit
Sebanyak rambut di atas kepala"

"Sudah lama kami ke tasik
Tali perahu terap belaka
Sudah lama kami merisik
Baru kini bertatap muka"

"Tinggi-tinggi si matahari
Anak kerbau mati tertambat
Sekian lama kami mencari
Baru sekarang kami mendapat"

"Raja Hindu raja di Sailan
Singgah berenang di persiraman
Bagai pungguk rindukan bulan
Kumbang merindu bunga di taman."

"Cendrawasih burung yang sakti
Singgah hinggap di atas karang
Kasih berputik di dalam hati
Dari dahulu sampai sekarang"

"Singgah berenang di persiraman
Mayang terendam di dalam tasik
Kumbang merindu bunga di taman
Bintang merindu cendrawasih"

After this point, the boy and the girl are engaged. A date for marriage is selected. "Selamat Pengantin Baru"

This blog post is dedicated to Ibrahim, Ong and Roslee who attended this 12:00 noon wedding of the son of their former co-worker, Awang at Kampong Padang, Jalan Pokok Mangga, Melaka.